Four Reasons for Children's Tattletale Behavior

"Mommy! Mom, my brother broke my toy again!"

"Mom, my sister won't even play with me!"

The constant noise of lawsuits in the family makes a mother's head spin! If you don't deal with it, you are worried that the conflict will never end. If you do deal with it, either the accused will say that the complainant is a snitch, or both the complainant and the accused will be dissatisfied with the outcome. If your child is a frequent complainer at school, you may be concerned about the impact on your child's interpersonal relationships. What should I do?

Mom and Dad need to know! Behavioral Messages Behind the Symptoms

1. The concept of "right and wrong" has just been established:Children begin to learn all kinds of rules, and adults often teach the concept of right and wrong by praising or stopping them. To children, rules are rules, and there is no flexibility, so when someone does something that violates what they think is "right," they will naturally tattle on them.

2. Getting attention and recognition from adultsThe child simply thinks that "if someone else is wrong, I am right", or if he or she has been punished for a mistake, the child will try to lower the other person's status in the parent's mind by making a small report.

3. Test the rules and boundaries of adults.: "Mom! My brother went to eat the pudding from the fridge again!" Obviously, you want to eat it too, but you are afraid that you will be punished if you do it. First, you say that your brother has done it and try to see how your mom will react. If the mom doesn't scold or punish her brother, it means it's okay to do it. If the mom gets angry, the child will know that it's not okay to do it, but he or she won't be punished.

4. Want to "control" other people, be a bully!"If you don't XXX, I'm going to tell Daddy!" Other children are initially frightened by this statement, and if the mistake is too late to fix, they may ask the other child not to tell on them by conditioning, and the child who is going to tell on them feels that he or she has some degree of "power" at this point.

5. A tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye.You went to tell Mommy last time, and I caught you doing it this time, so I'm going to tell Mommy, too! If you don't handle the situation well, it may lead to a vicious cycle!

NG upbringing will affect your child's future social interactions

1. Delivering the mission of "Discipline Unit Director" to children: Children don't just report others' faults in specific contexts, and they expect to be praised by their parents by telling them off wherever they go!

2. Helping your child when he/she complainsMy child comes home and says, "Mom, so-and-so got punished at school again! He's not good!" At this point, will any parents join in and say, "Yes, he did something the teacher didn't like and that's why he was punished! He did something the teacher didn't like and that's why he was punished! You can't do that, or you'll be punished by the teacher too." At this point, parents will definitely say, "What's wrong with teaching your child not to do bad behaviors through examples?"

I would like to point out that since the parents were not present at the scene and do not fully understand whether the facts are what the child said, it is possible that the child misunderstood, or that the child was trying to show that he or she was good at school by saying that another child was not, and this kind of response from the parents will reinforce the child's tattletale behavior!

3. High-pressure rule, just listen to me.Some parents have no choice but to educate their children in a more "strict" way because their children are very naughty. If the children do not have an outlet to express their thoughts and are worried that they will be punished if they say or do something wrong, they are more likely to sue to confirm the adults' bottom line!