It's hard to dig the child out of bed, but as soon as the child arrives at the kindergarten, the child won't let go of the mom, tears in his eyes, crashes and cries, doesn't want to get out of the car no matter what, and doesn't want to get up on the floor, and so on. It seems that you're going to be late for work, but how can you be a parent and not let go of your child when he's crying like this? Each child is born with a different temperament, so the outward behavior and adaptation period of separation anxiety varies from person to person. With the start of kindergarten, many of my friends have shared their children's separation anxiety on Facebook, so I hope to share with you how to overcome separation anxiety through this article.
What is separation anxiety?
When a child arrives at kindergarten, he or she cries, plays tricks, hugs mom and dad and refuses to leave, when mom leaves, the child clings to soothers, bites his or her fingers to reduce anxiety, and refuses to participate in group activities, etc. These behaviors are all indicative of separation anxiety in children. "Separation anxiety' refers to children who are separated from their primary caregivers, fearing for their own safety and worrying about when they will see them again, and therefore show excessive anxiety beyond what is expected. Outward behaviors include clinging to their parents, crying, playing on the floor, and being fearful.
Parents should be able to clearly feel that as children enter the "selective attachment" stage at 7-9 months of age, they begin to cling to a particular adult and begin to experience separation anxiety. Once the primary caregiver leaves, the child will cry and become upset, a condition that doesn't slow down until the child reaches the age of two.
Second, why is it important to deal with separation anxiety properly?
Howard (2011) conducted a five-year longitudinal study on 2,080 family samples and found that when infants and children were separated from their mothers for a week or more in their early years, such children would become more negative in personality at the age of 3, and were more prone to aggressive behavior and negative parent-child relationships after the age of 3~5 years, which shows the impact of early attachment on their social adaptation and cognitive development. This shows the impact of early attachment on the social adaptation and cognitive development of infants and young children.
On the other hand, if the primary caregiver is afraid of facing the child's separation anxiety and sneaks away when the child is not paying attention, it will deepen the child's sense of insecurity and mistrust. Therefore, it is really worthwhile to learn how to deal with the child's separation anxiety and minimize the impact on interpersonal relationships and social adaptation.
Three. Shrimp? Moms get separation anxiety, too!
Generally speaking, many of the parenting articles on the Internet refer to the child's separation anxiety, however, the attachment relationship is two-way, not only the child will have separation anxiety, the mother and child separation anxiety, fear, sadness, reluctance to part with the child, guilt, guilt and so on, the outward behavior is to be reluctant to part with the child, want to leave but still stay, in the school gate staged eighteen send off, etc. In fact, these are part of the mother's own separation anxiety, however, when the child feels the mother's anxiety and fear, or feel that the mother does not trust the environment of the kindergarten, it will be even deeper. In fact, these are the mother's own separation anxiety, however, when the child feels the mother's uneasiness and fear, or feels that the mother does not trust the environment of the kindergarten, the child's separation anxiety will be even deeper.
Five Key Points to Overcome Separation Anxiety
(a) Life Skills Learning - After kindergarten, they have to put on their own socks and shoes, organize their belongings, and have hygiene habits such as going to the toilet and washing their hands.
(b) Early Preparation for Kindergarten 1) Purchase kindergarten items together with your child 2) Increase group activities gradually 3) Establish a regular routine 4) Introduce your child to the new environment and teachers
(3) The importance of advance notice - In addition to the separation anxiety of first-time students, Monday Syndrome and the first day of school after a long vacation are also times of high separation anxiety for children. Advance notice can help prepare children psychologically and reduce the feeling of uneasiness. For example, take a calendar and tell your child, "Look at the clock and see that the short hand points to 4 and the long hand points to 0. Mommy will pick you up on time at 4:00 p.m. I promise! Once you have told your child the time, you really have to do it, and if there are any emergencies, you have to tell your child so that he or she can be prepared for them.
(4) Warmly and firmly leaving - "Today is your first day of school, you are very nervous, you are scared to be separated from your mom." "Mommy can feel your fear. If it were Mommy's first day of school, she would be just as scared as you are." Then she said, "Look inside the kindergarten. I've told you about it before, and I've brought you here to see it. There are lots of kids and lots of toys, so you can listen to the teacher's stories, play with the toys, take a nap, and have a snack, and mommy will pick you up right on time." In the process of speaking, the mother squats close to the child, watching the child's eyes, and speaking in a calm and gentle tone, the child will feel more at ease. Parents should say goodbye to the child, "Mommy will pick you up on time at 4:00 p.m.". When it's time to leave, don't forget to give your child a warm hug and say goodbye.
(E) Continuous positive encouragement and companionship When the child comes home from kindergarten, you can do more parent-child interaction, in addition to reducing the parent-child separation due to the alienation of more serious separation anxiety, but also through good companionship, so that the child can feel the warmth and sense of security. Whenever your child makes progress, don't forget to give positive encouragement: "I saw you take the initiative to play with your classmates today, and I can see the change in you!
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