"Parenting" Let your child learn to value himself/herself.

"Parenting" Let your child learn to value himself/herself From Pre-school Education Monthly
Believe in yourself, when you learn, you grow!
Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford University in the United States, has written a book entitled MINDSET: The New Psychology of Success (published by Chunk Culture), based on years of research. The author poses a question: Some children will ignore difficulties; some will try to cope with them (not necessarily solve them); and some will get better at what they do. What makes these differences?
Dweck's argument is that how a person sees himself affects whether he becomes the person he desires to be and whether he accomplishes the things he values.
Look at yourself with a "growth mindset"
If a person values being "smart" and believes that his or her abilities are already set in stone, this is called a "stereotypical mindset". This kind of person feels that it is impossible to change much about one's intelligence, and that even if one learns something new, there is no real way to improve; therefore, the starting point and goal of a stereotypical person's work is to "not let people think I'm stupid". In other words, stereotypical people want others to recognize that they are smart, hardworking, and caring; when they don't get that recognition, they will use the excuse that they are not gifted to give up their efforts.
In contrast, there is another type of person who sees his or her current situation as just a starting point, and believes that everyone can change through exercise and experience: this is the "growth mindset". This is the "growth mindset". The person with the growth mindset believes that all people, regardless of their intelligence, are capable of considerable change, and believes that he or she can improve his or her IQ: therefore, for him or her, success is about learning, and where there is learning, there is growth.
Parents' behavior affects children's mentality
The book "Mindset for Winning" focuses on business, marriage, and relationships, but also mentions parenting cases. The behaviors that parents and teachers exhibit (including praise and reprimand) will give children a sense of whether they expect a "stereotypical mindset" or a "growth mindset". For example, when a researcher asks a child, "When you get good grades, your mom and dad are happy, why? If the child replies, "They are happy to see that I am a smart kid," this presents a "stereotypical mindset. If the child answers, "They are happy to see that I am a smart child," this presents a "growth mindset.
A different mindset makes you think differently
Mindset affects thinking. For example, if a new mom, who is overwhelmed by her newborn, can say to her baby, "Mommy knows you're hungry, and we're both learning to cope with this new life, and I know it's hard, but we're both learning." When a mom is able to think this way, it means that she is breaking out of her negative thinking and allowing herself to think differently again. Not only does it change her attitude towards the baby, it also affects the baby's reaction. This reminds me of two true stories.
There was a grand mom who was helping her Dr. son with his kids. The grand mom went around listening to speeches and decided that she wanted to bring up her grandson well. The grand mom said, "When I was teaching my son math, he was slow to respond and I was in a hurry, so I somehow said, 'What a fool! My son still remembers me to this day. My son still remembers me saying that. I have to teach my grandson the right things now."
There was a dad who had a bad break in his life and was pulled over by the police for drinking and driving and was given a ticket. When he came home and saw his elderly mother, before she could say anything, his son said, "I'm not part of your family anyway." The mother froze, "How long ago was that? Because my son was young and got into trouble, I got angry and said, 'You don't look like a member of our family,' but I didn't realize that my son would remember it to this day."
Both mothers thought they said it in the heat of the moment and didn't mean to, but the two sons, who are now fathers, have always remembered their mother's words as if they were a doorway in their hearts and a curse on their foreheads. What the two mothers saw at the time was stereotypical ability, and so the sons lived in fear of being "underestimated" by their mothers; they worked hard to prove to their mothers that they were "smart".
From this, we can see repeatedly that parents' words can inspire and change people's brains, but they can also cause heartache for a lifetime. If parents want their children to learn to value themselves, they have to give more play to their growth mindset, encourage their children, and guide their children, in order to make them believe that they are constantly improving.
Parents should use encouragement and guidance instead of praise and criticism in parenting, so that children will not give up their efforts just because of a lack of praise.