Parenting] Habits determine opportunities, character determines destiny.

I asked my friend, who works as a human resources manager in a US company, to talk to my students about job search strategies and the details to pay attention to in interviews. As soon as she came on stage, she wrote the word "habit" on the blackboard and said, "Character determines destiny, habit determines opportunity, and some seemingly harmless habits will affect your promotion.

The students were surprised to hear this because they had been brought up to believe that academic qualifications and abilities were important, and no one had ever emphasized the importance of habits.

She cited an example to illustrate: the office is a small society, your work habits, including the attitude of speech, sitting posture, dealing with the cultured, will affect other people's perception of you, and indirectly affect your promotion.

Hygienic behavior is especially important because of the small space in the office. Never pick your teeth, dilute your nose, or comb your hair in public (because dandruff flies up when you comb your hair and it is unsanitary, so you should go to the toilet to comb your hair) are all impolite behaviors. Some people like to gurgle and rinse their tea in their mouths before swallowing it, which is also very uncomfortable.

She said that there was once a very capable classroom supervisor whom her boss wanted to promote. After a banquet for an important guest, he flossed his teeth in the elevator, and the guest was so scared that he dodged back for fear of being sprayed by the residue he flossed. When the boss frowned, he was not promoted.

Therefore, being disheveled is not being a celebrity, it is being disrespectful to others. Don't be so excited that you poke others with your fingers. Cover your mouth with your hand when you yawn, and don't let others see your big teeth. When talking to others, keep an arm's length away from them, don't talk close to them, and don't be aggressive.

The students were shocked to hear this and reflected on their own bad habits. One student asked: What should we do?

This is a good question. Habits are created by you, so you can certainly change them. Mencius said, "What is precious to Zao Meng, Zao Meng can make it less so." However, it takes a lot of effort because habit is an unconscious behavior. Being "unconscious" means that you don't use your brain's resources, and you may not even pass the threshold of consciousness. Therefore, it takes perseverance to change bad habits, and you have to remind yourself not to do it again.

Our brain is like a grassland. There is no path in the first place, it is the experience that makes the path. Walking will flatten the grass, and the more times we walk, the bigger the path will become, and the path will form its own path, and eventually a habit will be formed.

What is the advantage of habit? Because the brain weighs only three pounds (about 1.3 kg). The brain weighs only three pounds (about 1.36 kilograms), which is only 2% of your body weight, but it uses 20% of your body's energy. The brain is the most energy-intensive organ in the body. Therefore, the brain will try to turn daily routines into habits, so that we can get through the day without much effort and use the resources saved to deal with important matters related to survival.

所以，要改變一個行為最有效的方式是，用新的習慣去取代舊的習慣

你必須在大腦中另闢一條新路，每天去走它，不讓草長出來，久一點後，新路成蹊；舊路許久不走，被草淹沒，最後就看不見痕跡了。

習慣看似個人小事，其實影響深遠，因為現在是團隊的時代。團隊中，

只要有一個人跟別人合不來，生產力和創造力就會減弱。在二十一世紀，品德和習慣的重要性，絕對不亞於學識和能力。

Text/Professor Hong Lan