Parenting] Habits determine opportunities, character determines destiny.

In the age of teamwork, character and habits are no less important than knowledge and ability. Talent is inborn, but breaking bad habits and developing good ones not only affects perception, but also determines promotion.

 I asked my friend, who works as a human resources manager in a US company, to talk to my students about job search strategies and the details to pay attention to in interviews. As soon as she came on stage, she wrote the word "habit" on the blackboard and said, "Character determines destiny, habit determines opportunity, and some seemingly harmless habits will affect your promotion.

The students were surprised to hear this because they had been brought up to believe that academic qualifications and abilities were important, and no one had ever emphasized the importance of habits.
She cited an example to illustrate: the office is a small society, your work habits, including the attitude of speech, sitting posture, dealing with the cultured, will affect other people's perception of you, and indirectly affect your promotion.

Hygienic behavior is especially important because of the small space in the office. Never pick your teeth, dilute your nose, or comb your hair in public (because dandruff flies up when you comb your hair and it is unsanitary, so you should go to the toilet to comb your hair) are all impolite behaviors. Some people like to gurgle and rinse their tea in their mouths before swallowing it, which is also very uncomfortable.

She said that there was once a very capable classroom supervisor whom her boss wanted to promote. After a banquet for an important guest, he flossed his teeth in the elevator, and the guest was so scared that he dodged back for fear of being sprayed by the residue he flossed. When the boss frowned, he was not promoted.

Therefore, being disheveled is not being a celebrity, it is being disrespectful to others. Don't be so excited that you poke others with your fingers. Cover your mouth with your hand when you yawn, and don't let others see your big teeth. When talking to others, keep an arm's length away from them, don't talk close to them, and don't be aggressive.

The students were shocked to hear this and reflected on their own bad habits. One student asked: What should we do?
This is a good question. Habits are created by you, so you can certainly change them. Mencius said, "What is precious to Zao Meng, Zao Meng can make it less so." However, it takes a lot of effort because habit is an unconscious behavior. Being "unconscious" means that you don't use your brain's resources, and you may not even pass the threshold of consciousness. Therefore, it takes perseverance to change bad habits, and you have to remind yourself not to do it again.
Our brain is like a grassland. There is no path in the first place, it is the experience that makes the path. Walking will flatten the grass, and the more times we walk, the bigger the path will become, and the path will form its own path, and eventually a habit will be formed.

What is the advantage of habit? Because the brain weighs only three pounds (about 1.3 kg). The brain weighs only three pounds (about 1.36 kilograms), which is only 2% of your body weight, but it uses 20% of your body's energy. The brain is the most energy-intensive organ in the body. Therefore, the brain will try to turn daily routines into habits, so that we can get through the day without much effort and use the resources saved to deal with important matters related to survival.

Therefore, the most effective way to change a behavior is to replace an old habit with a new one. You must create a new path in your brain, walk it every day, do not let the grass grow, after a long time, the new path becomes a groove; the old path is not walked for a long time, drowned by the grass, and eventually you can not see the trace.

Habits may seem trivial, but in fact they have far-reaching effects because we are now in the era of teamwork. Whenever one person in a team fails to get along with others, productivity and creativity are diminished. In the 21st century, the importance of character and habits is no less than that of knowledge and ability.

God is fair, you can't control your genes, but you can work hard to develop good habits that will make you successful. (Prof. Honglan Director, Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience, National Central University)