"Parenting" Family Education - Taiwan vs Sweden ◎ by Zhang Yunmeng

In the first few days of bringing our little prince back to Taiwan for school, I deeply realized how difficult it is to be a single mother. I realized that it is not easy to be a single mom, and I thanked my husband from the bottom of my heart for everything he has done for us, such as sharing the tedious tasks of raising the children and maintaining the family together. It seems that it is necessary for couples to take "marriage leave" to separate from each other once in a while, otherwise they will take each other's contribution for granted.

In addition to bringing up your child on your own, helping him to adapt to the environment, and establishing a sense of security in a foreign country that "speaks his mother's language," you also have to take care of everything that is necessary for his new life. In order to get the job done efficiently, I sometimes lose patience with my child and unconsciously activate my "conditional" voice, such as, "If you don't behave, if you don't listen, you won't get any ice cream after dinner! If I were in Sweden, I'd probably say, "If you don't behave like that again, you're going to live at Grandma's house."

To Mr. Swedish's ears, these words sounded horrible and out of place in a modern education. But for me, growing up in such a situation, I never really thought of any other way to "effectively control" an out-of-control child. In fact, in retrospect, I may have been the one who lost control.

I originally thought that Swedes would just keep repeating "this won't work" when dealing with naughty children, but after seeing the little prince's interaction with his dad and grandma, I suddenly seem to understand a bit more. In fact, they are teaching him something more important: "My parents' love for me is unconditional, so I don't have to be too impatient. I don't have to be too impatient. If I can't do something, I can't do it. My parents won't stop loving me because I did something wrong." Children who grow up in such a peaceful family education gradually learn emotional stability and self-respect from the example of adults.

If you have the chance to visit Sweden, pay attention to the children you meet on the road. No matter how young they are, except for the ones who are still breastfeeding, they all have a calm and gentle quality that seems to be inherent in them. They don't cry too much, they don't sit on the floor of a toy store and cry until they get what they want, and naturally, I haven't seen parents scolding their children on the street. I feel that there is a correlation between "not crying" and "not cursing".

Families are powerful learning environments, and despite the heavy responsibilities, the attitude must be relaxed. Parenting is as challenging as learning Tai Chi!

The attitude of Swedish parents towards their children is neither Germanic and strict, nor Eastern and over-expectant. At first glance, it seems a bit carefree, as if they were treating an adult with the same calmness. The Half-Blood Prince's father was used to this kind of social interaction and family situation since he was a child. His parents, even though they had high hopes for him, were able to keep their opinions to themselves. Do you need to be so polite and reserved with your family? Of course, family does not give us the right to make each other feel uncomfortable in the name of control or in the name of love.

I didn't grow up that way, so when I became a parent, I had to read a lot of books about parenting and self-awareness. Although there are subtle differences in learning styles between cultures, I believe that if we are willing to do so, we can all reach the same end point, and grow with our children through conscious change.