"Parenting" Going to school to meet new friends.

"Parenting - Going to School and Making New Friends From Preschool Monthly Magazine by Lin Xinhui
September is the beginning of a new school year. Is your child going to daycare or kindergarten? Entering a new environment is a test, no matter how old they are. The first thing parents need to do is to help your child build new relationships and make new friends.
If your parents ask your 4-year-old child, "Who is your best friend? The answer may be different every day! It's not that your child doesn't like the old and the new and is incapable of maintaining friendships. Friends at this age come and go quickly. Before exploring new relationships, it's important for parents to understand how preschoolers make and keep friends.
At the age of 3 to 4, the child has begun to break away from self-centered thinking and gradually develops a strong interest in the people around him or her. He will especially enjoy playing with children of similar ages. The friends he chooses are usually right next to him. For example, the person who sits next to him or the one who happens to be building blocks with him today!The
By the time children reach kindergarten age, they begin to understand the special bonds between friends, and they can play games together and share common interests. At this point, the rate of making new friends slows down, the targets become more selective, and the quality of the friendships becomes deeper.
Friends are playmates, but they are also learning objects.
Peer relationships are important to children's overall development. Friends are not only playmates, but also help children fulfill other needs. Through the process of socializing with friends, children learn attitudes and ways of dealing with others. Examples include how to join new groups, make new friends, participate in groups, identify with others, and how to deal with competition and conflict. Friendship also contributes to a child's self-exploration, emotional and social growth, and moral development.
Although children can learn from their parents, teachers, or other adult interactions, the relationship between adults and children is usually top-down, with adults having more authority. However, the relationship between adults and children is usually a top-down one, with adults having more authority, and children tend to obey and do what they are told. However, a child's relationship with his or her peers is one of equality, which provides more opportunities to practice coordination and autonomy.
Life is happy when you have good friends.
Children spend about 40 hours a week with their classmates. Most children have one, two, or even a few good friends. Friendships nourish children's lives and make them happy. However, according to some studies of child friendship in the United States, about 10% of children do not have friends. Some of these children are invisibly ignored by their peers because they are extremely shy and not good at interacting with others. Some of these children are even labeled as "rejects" by their classmates. These "rejected" children are often emotionally disturbed. They tend to feel lonely and have low self-confidence. They are more likely to suffer from depression than other children.
After a long period of tracking and investigation, scholars have found that "rejected" children are prone to encounter more problems in the course of growing up, such as becoming dropouts, juvenile delinquents, or even suffering from mental illnesses. So, how can we help our children make friends?
Participating in group activities is the best way to make friends
The best way to make new friends is to start by participating in group activities. For example, a group of people playing ball games or games together. Starting with positive interactions diffuses the awkwardness of strangers and gives each other a chance to get to know each other. Normal children understand that friendships take time to build, and they have the confidence and willingness to wait and match each other's pace to become good friends.
On the contrary, children who are "rejected" have less self-confidence, are unable to wait patiently, and are afraid of being rejected. They tend to force others to "become" their good friends, which in turn causes resentment from the other party, and they lose the opportunity to become good friends.
To give your child a chance to spend time with others, allow your child to invite children to your home to play and have as much real interaction as possible. For younger children, build blocks and play house. Try to avoid video games or internet games, as they tend to make children obsessed with reflexes and overly concerned with winning and losing, and there is no real interaction between children.
Cultivate the traits of a good person in your child.
A well-liked and popular child usually possesses more positive personality traits, such as: empathy, caring, respect for others' opinions, acceptance of different views, support for others' decisions, non-judgmental, willingness to participate and cooperate with others, honesty, loyalty, responsibility, and humor. It is not necessary for a child to have every one of these traits, but having a few more of them will make it easier for the child to make friends.
Children who are "rejected" are more self-centered, do not know how to care for others, and are less empathetic. They also often display negative behaviors such as bragging, showing off, criticizing others, and being jealous. The most serious negative behavior is aggression. If someone is particularly aggressive, he or she will become the "rejected" target.
If parents want to know about their child's relationship with peers, they should talk to their children more often and communicate with each other. You can also observe your child's interactions with others and take advantage of opportunities for education and counseling. Point out your child's positive and popular behaviors, and if you find negative behaviors, discuss them with your child in private so that he or she can understand the feelings that the negative behaviors bring to the other person, and so that he or she can think about how to respond to similar situations with a positive attitude.
Teaching children to introduce themselves and talk
At the beginning of the school year, some children may be worried or afraid of new teachers and new classmates. Parents can prepare their children for this before school starts. If your child says he is worried that his new teacher or classmates won't like him, it is important to accept his feelings. First of all, parents should accept your child's feelings and teach him how to take the first step to get to know his classmates. Teach him to introduce himself and then ask for the other person's name; think of interesting topics for him to talk about; or play role-plays with your child, for example:
The child says, "My name is Li Xiaohua. I like to read The Hungry Caterpillar. How about you?
Mom and Dad say, "My name is Ying. My family also has The Good Hungry Caterpillar.
Once your child is mentally prepared and knows how to cope with the new environment, he or she will be able to reduce anxiety, go to school happily, and meet new people naturally.